Thanksgiving For Your Partner: Ways to Appreciate Your Partner More
The reality is that we can take our partners for granted and not even know it. Life gets very chaotic and people get busy in their own lives and careers. When we have to focus and take care of a lot of things at once, we can become so tunnel-visioned that we forget to appreciate what’s right in front of our eyes. Showing our partner appreciation is vital to any relationship and no one needs an anniversary or specific dates to do so.
Love is all about happily making efforts every day as well as staying and making it through the tough times when it’s not so easy. It’s important to show the love between partners; we can show it through our actions (and the ways we discuss in this blog) because our partners can’t read our minds. There are simple ways to show appreciation for your partner every day, or we can say let’s make every day ‘thanksgiving’ for your partner from now on
The Love Languages
There’s an immense amount of pressure to perform grand romantic gestures for our partners on holidays and relationship milestones but most people love to feel special and appreciated on more than one occasion throughout the year which is completely natural. People need the assurance and security that love, appreciation, and gratitude bring in both through big or small gestures. It is just as important to show our special someone how much you care about them in simple ways every day.
“Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” – Les Parrott.
This quote applies to relationships as well. The way you show gratitude to others, especially your partner can make or break any kind of relationship. Expressing gratitude can release oxytocin or the “love hormone” which builds a greater connection and bond between partners.
We can start with understanding the Love Languages, introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman who is the author of “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” to help with finding simple things one can do, to keep the love alive in the relationship because knowing our partner is essential but knowing how to love them is critical.
Love Language refers to five different styles of communicating love and appreciation in a relationship. Incorporating them into your lives can prove to be a real g
ame changer. Also if your partner’s preferred love language is different than yours, it’s completely okay as long as there’s communication and understanding between the couple. Understanding your partner’s love language and practicing it is key.
Also, it’s possible to have more than one love language. It can also be beneficial to know not only your romantic partner’s love language(s), but also those of your family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors – anyone who is important to you.
Now we are going to talk about the above-mentioned styles of love language and how to include small things pertaining to these love languages into your life every day.
|Which Love Language?||How to Communicate?||Actions to Take||Things to Avoid|
|Quality Time||Undivided attention while having a conversation with no interruptions; private time is important.||Create special memories like a romantic dinner, long walks/drives, playing games, doing a puzzle together and taking weekend getaways.||Distractions when spending time together, too much time spent with friends and family, gaps of time between private meets.|
|Physical Touch||Non-verbal use of Body Language and touch to express love.||Show physical affection often by hugging, kissing, giving massages, sitting/laying close, pats, caressing and cuddling while spending time together.||Physical Neglect, Threats and Abuse.|
|Words of Affirmation||Encourage, affirm, appreciate, empathize and listen actively.||Use words to tell them how much you appreciate them by writing love letters, meaningful praises, sending cute texts, and leaving unexpected handwritten notes.||Not recognizing and appreciating the effort. Using emotionally harsh words and giving undue criticism.|
|Acts of Service||Let them know you want help. Go out of your way to lighten their load.||Do actions that are helpful to your loved one like cleaning, cooking, and/or running errands.||Lacking follow through on small and large tasks, over-committing to tasks, ignoring or forgetting promises.|
|Giving/Receiving Gifts||Make your partner’s likes and dislike your priority. Be thoughtful and speak purposefully.|
Don’t forget to express gratitude for receiving gifts.
Give time, thoughtful gifts, small meaningful tokens & gestures which say you are thinking of them.
|Unenthusiastic gift giving, forgetting special occasions, materialism.|
Notice the Little Things
A person deserves to be seen and heard for who they are and being appreciated makes you feel loved, which can also be communicated by noticing the little things. Try to make a mental note of the things that interest your partner. Make it a habit to notice the little things they bring up casually, it might seem insignificant at the moment but may be great in the long run. You can try to do small gestures like getting flowers that they like, their favorite treats, sports tickets to their favorite teams, binge-watching a favorite show together, etc.
Respect and Honor Each Other
Behaviours, emotions, feelings, and passions are unique for every individual. Listen to your partner when they express excitement or disdain. Try to understand, encourage and acknowledge your partner’s personality and recognize the things you would usually take for granted, and take an interest in those parts of them. Also, try to avoid dismissing their feelings and support their passions and dreams. Attempt to avoid multitasking when talking to your partner. Give them your full attention and make them feel important. There is value in creating the safety to communicate openly and have tough conversations. You can make a list of things that each partner enjoys doing in their free time. After you make that list, try and invite your partner to participate in your interests with you and vice versa.
Offer to Help
If you know that your partner may be dealing with a lot of stress, try to offer to take something off the plate. Try to help your partner by doing something they don’t enjoy doing such as taking the trash out or cleaning the dishes. Also, if you are able to, give them the opportunity to take some alone time and give them the day off from worries and responsibilities!
Express appreciation and be genuine with your partner with a specific compliment and try to do so both in private and in public. Be specific when you tell your partner that you are thankful for them. Writing a meaningful message to your partner is a simple, intentional way to emphasize that you care when you may not have much time to dedicate to personal time.
Have Meals Together
It’s a known fact that the way to the heart is through one’s stomach. Whether you stay in and cook a nice meal or go out to your favorite restaurant, it is important to experience that together. Spend time talking about the day and enjoying each other’s company. If you can’t afford to go out, you can pack lunch or arrange breakfast in bed.
Enjoy The Moment
Try to avoid getting caught up in the what-if questions or phrases that use future tense. Take the time to focus your energy on yourself and your partner right now. Think about what you can do together to focus on your relationship.
Remember to show your partner love and appreciation every day of the year. It is important that each person in a relationship feels seen, heard, and valued, and not just during the holidays. Expand your ideas. Think of ways outside the box to show your appreciation now that you have this knowledge.
From big gestures to small acts of appreciation, these are powerful ways to demonstrate and prove your love for your partner. When we feel appreciated and valued, we are more likely to do the relationship work, our love grows deeper and our bond grows stronger. When we express our gratitude, our love shines through and makes everything that’s bothering us bearable. Showing your partner how much you appreciate them every day is a straightforward way to ensure a successful relationship.
Cover Illustration by: Sheknows.com