Learning And Unlearning Bizarre Myths On Sexual Health
With sexual health becoming an important part of an individual’s life, it has also been subjected to bizzare tradition of myths. These myths not only change the narrative of the course but also makes it vulnerable to taboos and wrong circulation of information on topics like sexual health.
Being asexual : A choice or a inborn trait?
Now let me begin with a question, how many of us know what asexuality means in real sense? Earlier only a section of people had an idea but now With web 2.0 and digitalisation many of us have an idea of what being asexual is. But even this idea is not gained from confirmed sources, it is gained through some sort of secondary sources which are usually not accurate and either give false information or completely wrong and bizzare information. So asexual in clear terms mean that when an individual does not feel sexually attracted to someone or does not have sexual desires. But there’s a twist to it. These people can still experience other forms of attraction. Like, romantic attraction that is desiring a romantic relationship with someone or aesthetic attraction that is being attracted to someone on how they look and many more. Being asexual is a definitely not a choice and this choice must be given due consideration by the society. This feel of not being sexually attracted to someone is a gut feel that is an inborn trait and nobody who has this feel should be either demeaned for this or made to be feel aahamed of . Also, asexuality does not rather should not be confused with maintaing celibacy. Both are different, celibacy is abstaining from having sexual attraction that is a person by choice refrains herself or himself of not getting sexually attracted to someone whereas asexuality is by inborn trait not have sexual desires. Lastly, there is also an misunderstanding regarding asexual people that is they are late bloomers which means that they haven’t met the right person in their life and this they just don’t feel vaguely sexually attracted to someone. This is not right being asexual is not a feel that comes and goes it is as simple as a sexual orientation that is just valid as being bisexual or gay or lesbian identities
Hypersexuality in women - A matter of concern
Let’s begin to understand another matter of concern in the narrative of sexual discourse that is hypersexuality and the problem it creates in women. So hypersexuality refers to the inability to control sexual desires and urges that creates distress in an individual’s personal, social and personal life. Hypersexuality in women refers to those women who have high level of sex which is characterized by excessive masturbation, watching pornography rather than going through passive methods of sexual desire like having dreams etc.
In states like Germany when a research was conducted about school girls and college goers about how many of them were engaged in masturbation activities, porn use and how many sexual partners they had?
Also the researchers prepared a questionnaire consisting of 19 questions where it was asked how frequently women used sex as coping mechanism to deal with emotional stress or work stress. Scoring high on this questionnaire meant that a person needs therapy and thus it was found around three percent of women had hypersexuality in them. It is argued that men preferably are subjected to hypersexuality which is not. Even women are mostly subjected to this which can be a result of the fact that women are not free to admit their hypersexuality and those who admitted are subjected to derogatory labels.
Also, people feel that sex addiction and hypersexuality is same which is wrong. Sex addiction is a compulsive sexual behavior that is huge amount of interest in sexual desires whereas hypersexuality is sexual behaviour where one who does not even want to have sexual desires uncontroablly tends to have desires even if they do not want to. At times even male partners get upset with their female partners for this uncontrollable desire for sex as it may so happen that the male partner isn’t interested to have sex but the female partner cannot control her desire and that tends to create an unnecessary pressure on the male partner to have sex.
I keep my pen down by concluding that it’s the need of hour that we should let people know in large numbers that having sexual desires Is not wrong. It is a natural human instinct which everyone has irrespective of their gender. It is not a matter of serious concern until it leads to certain conditions which tend to ruin your life and space and healthy relationship with partners. Also, the awareness needs to be made that there is no need of shaming a person going through a sexuality problem or there is no need of judging someone just because they are not like you and belong to some other community like LGBTQ. Until and unless the myths regarding asexuality or hypersexuality are completely destroyed from its very root such bizzare thinking of shaming and using derogatory lables for individuals who are either asexual or having hypersexuality will continue.
Cover Illustration: Coda Story