Post-Sex Blues And Aftercare

The post-sex blues is a real thing. With aftercare, you can get rid of them and get better soon. It can help the body regulate its response to all the feel-good chemicals released during sex. Aftercare is essential. Because it isn’t just about rough sex, it’s about care, communication, and consent.

What is aftercare?

We know that couples dress up, clean, or just go to sleep after climaxing. But this isn’t how it should ideally be. And this is when aftercare kicks in! Sexual aftercare is the time that couples give to feel better after a sexual encounter. In simple terms – it’s just to take care of your partner. Happiness hormones gush in, and it isn’t easy to deal with the emotions that one gets after having sex. It helps soothe you as well as your partner since sex can be overwhelming to many people. It is usually overlooked by people, thanks to the wonderful sexuality education that is imparted in India. 


What are the types of aftercare?

There are various ways to let go of your post-sex blues, and here are some of the most popular ones:

  1. Discussing the experience to understand who liked what
  2. Sensual touch
  3. Taking a shower
  4. Cuddling, holding hands, laughing, spooning
  5. Checking on whether the partner needs physical aftercare, mental aftercare or both.

Why is it important?

Aftercare is essential as one feels vulnerable after sex. It reinforces that you care for your partner. It makes them understand that you aren’t taking them for granted and truly wish to make them feel comfortable. Moreover, it also helps strengthen your bond with your partner. It helps you make them understand that the physical intimacy you just had is special to you. Aftercare is as important as before-care – you wouldn’t want your partner to feel like they mean nothing to you after sex, would you?


How would I know what my partner would like me to do as aftercare?

Ask! Aftercare could mean different things to different people. For someone, it could be communicating with the partner and telling them about how the experience was. On the other hand, another individual might just want to stay silent and savor the experience. Like how different people have different preferences regarding sexual acts, they might want different types of aftercare. When it comes to aftercare, there is no one-size-fits-all here. The following image shows how one can evaluate what one would be comfortable doing after having sex. This can help you understand what you might want to do.


What if I am having casual sex? Is it still important?

Yes! Casual sex is also about a relationship. It might not seem as significant in this case, but it is! It is not about trying to make someone get emotionally bonded to you or have them fall head over heels in love with you. Instead, it is about treating them with tenderness to tell them that you respect and really care for them. The kind of relationship you share with your partner doesn’t determine the need for aftercare. It is vital in any kind of sexual relationship.


Oh wait, but isn’t it just for the BDSM community?

That’s how we’ve known aftercare, especially because BDSM is intensely kinky. But irrespective of whether you practice BDSM or prefer vanilla sex, the act could be extremely overwhelming. It is important to check on your partner and know how they are feeling. In the end, it boils down to ensuring they have been comfortable with whatever has happened. 

Aftercare isn’t hard to incorporate into your sexual life. Just communicate with your partner and ask them what they’d like to engage in after having sex. That’s it! Remind yourself that aftercare is as important as foreplay. Make sure you both feel pampered and your experience is going to feel way better!

Graphic design by: Vijaya Srivastava



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