“It's Her Choice”, But is it Really?
- Consent is not just a yes, it is about freedom, safety and agency.
- Coerced or pressured consent is not valid consent.
- Consent can be non-verbal, conditional, or revoked anytime.
- Consent applies to bodies, data and identity.
Introduction
Over time, the understanding of consent has changed from being about controlling others to that of agency.
We have all heard, “It’s her choice”, the meme, the moment, the drama. But have you ever stopped to ask, what does choice really mean? Is it just about making a decision? Or is it about the power to decide freely, fully, without pressure? The meme may say “It’s her choice,” but let us not forget; informed choice is a right that belongs to everyone, regardless of gender or identity, because choice is not just a buzzword.
It is about autonomy and at the heart of autonomy lies one thing: consent.
Let's Be Real
Most of us were taught that consent is a clear yes or no. And that’s not wrong. But it is not the full picture.
Consent can be:
- Explicit: “Yes, I want this.”
- Non-verbal: Pulling someone closer, holding hands, moving in.
- Mutual: Both of you are into it, equally.
- Conditional: “Only with a condom,” “Only if we keep the lights off,” or “Only if I feel safe.”
Is Yes Forever A Yes?
These are not valid forms of consent. Even if you said “yes” in the moment, but were scared to say “no,” that is not real consent. When a yes comes from fear, guilt, or pressure, it is coerced, and therefore invalid.
You are allowed to say no, even if you’ve said yes before, no matter what the situation is. Consent is not a contract. It is revocable at any time, for any reason. And this is not just about sex. It shows up in everyday things; when someone picks up your phone without asking, posts a photo of you without checking, shares a private message, or uses your belongings like it is theirs.
It happens in hospitals and research programs, where people deserve to know what is being done to their minds and bodies. Online, we are agreeing to terms and conditions we don’t always understand; our faces, our clicks, our data getting tracked without us even realizing it.
A Deeper Look
While the idea of consent has grown louder, clearer, and more present in conversations, in laws and even in our phones; it still is not fully practiced.
Some countries have stronger protections: the European Union’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) does not let applications or websites use your face, data, or voice without your clear, informed, opt-in consent.
In Spain, the law now says that only an explicit “yes” counts as consent; silence, hesitation, or implied agreement aren’t enough.
Denmark’s deepfake law gives people legal control over how AI uses their face or voice.
In parts of the USA, stealthing (removing a condom during sex without the other person’s consent) is now legally recognized as sexual assault.
But in India, marital rape is still not considered a crime mentally, emotionally or legally, that silence still exists. We have recently introduced the Digital Personal Data Protection Act 2023, which gives people some rights over how their online data is collected, stored, or shared but when it comes to bodies, the law still moves slowly.
Consent is expanding across space, platforms, and policies but the gaps remind us: it is not just about being asked. It is about being heard. And saying no when necessary.
Conclusion
What does it then come down to? Consent is not just a checkbox or a legal formality. It is a culture. One we build together.
It is in the conversations we have, the questions we ask, the pauses we take. It is in respecting silence, noticing hesitation, and valuing autonomy, not just in sex or law, but in everything.
From the photos we post to the space we share, consent is the quiet baseline of respect. Consent is not just one person’s choice; it is everyone’s right.
Pratisandhi aims to bring about the idea of consent and boundaries to youth in India.
Interested in how you can bring our “Project Consent” to a school near you? Reach out to us at collaborate@pratisandhi.com.
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